prayer.

hey Jesus, take the things that keep my heart from running after You.

I DID IT

I did it. I have successfully completed my first surprise week as a full-time City Director. I say surprise because my boss went into labor and birthed her child (a beautiful baby girl) one month sooner than expected. This meant that my longer term position here (as her stand in for maternity leave) happened one month faster than expected.

This means I pretty much wore the same thing 3 days straight, used Starbucks French Roast to stay awake, kept my hair as manageable as possible (braids braids braids), and have large bags under my eyes for the first time (ain't no under eye concealer going to cover these bad boys). All while blasting worship music as I figured things out. Typical.

Luckily God is SO GOOD ALL THE TIME and I was showered with mercy this week.

Sites cancelled, but better ones became available.
The people I emailed, emailed me back (this is a big deal).
The baby, mom, and dad are all healthy and well!
I have great roommates and friends who are willing to help out.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28



Today I was able to be in the Tenderloin to deliver meals. As I waited for my group in the lobby, I started people watching. I put my phone away (which unfortunately is usually my way of getting out of making eye contact) and noticed a blind man walking out from the lobby onto the sidewalk. He just stood there with that white and red stick and called out to people as they walked by because he thought he knew them. They looked at him like he was crazy and just kept walking. These weren't white rich people, they were neighbors in the TL like him. I don't know why it affected me so much, or what God was trying to show me through this, but I just felt the weight of depravity SO much in that one situation.


I'm glad God isn't done working on me. I'm glad that my heart still beats and breaks.

Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller

"What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give."

"The most painful times in our lives are times in which our idols are being threatened or removed....Something is safe for us to maintain in our lives only if it has really stopped being an idol. That can happen only when we are truly willing to live without it, when we truly say from the heart: 'Because I have God, I can live without you.'"

"When people say, "I know God forgives me, but I can't forgive myself," they mean that they have failed an idol, whose approval is more important to them than God's."

"Idolatry is not just a failure to obey God, it is a setting of the whole heart on something besides God. This cannot be remedied only by repenting that you have an idol, or using willpower to try to live differently. Turning from idols is not less than those two things, but it is also far more. Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol. That is what will replace your counterfeit god. "

pray for these faces.

pray for these kids. there are going to be a lot of transitions for them in the upcoming week and they need to be covered and supported in prayer.

thanks friends.

absent.

I am not doing a great job at regularly updating this thing. But I have several reasons why I haven't gotten around to an adequate update.

1. I've finished reading these:

2. I've had visitors!

3. And basically just spending time exploring San Francisco more. Got a library card, found my favorite coffee shop, etc.

Real update soon. Maybe.

SUMMER STAFF

i like these people. mmm.

c o n v i c t i o n

I stayed up pretty late last night talking to God. I had just read a blog post by a professor from Biola about big prayers vs. small prayers. The post started off by saying "what we pray for is usually what we live for."

That was convicting to say the least.

I look at my prayers for the last month: health, safety, friendships, etc. All good things. But where are my prayers for health followed by "so that I can do God's work with full passion and energy to never give up pursuing the declaration of His name." Or for friendships followed by "so that the body of Christ would work together to glorify Him, attack sin, and pursue purity and righteousness in all truth and love."

Where are my prayers for the people I meet besides just a name drop or "Lord be with Ben"? Where do I write or say "God I hate injustice and hate that people like Ben are unable to work and have the comforts of a warm bed and security. I hate Lord that people walk by him thinking he is dirty and scary. Lord I hate the injustice. Redeem Ben, redeem humanity, stir up a deep desire for compassion within us to look upon injustice with hatred and look towards You alone for a solution. To rely on You for full compassion and rely on You for grace and mercy in this."

What we pray for is usually what we live for.