11/29 and 11/30

I'm grateful for God being present not only in the valleys, but the mountain tops also, as well as the journey up the mountain. So grateful that although he meets us in suffering, he does not limit intimacy with him to suffering.

Grateful for the month of December that starts tomorrow! The best month of the year :)

11/27 and 11/28

Grateful for scents and smells and how crazy our brains are to remember the smell of special things even years later.

Grateful for having access to NyQuil.


Currently feeling like a cold is coming on again. Not feeling healthy or like myself today. Bah humbug :(

11/26

Grateful for this! That he receives me and loves me too much to keep me the same.

11/25

Grateful that I am forever Yours.

11/24

Grateful for being overall healthy! Glad that I don't have asthma or allergies preventing me from any activity. Glad that there are such things as "trails" to hike. Thanks God for making your creation accessible.

11/23

Grateful for Caitlyn, the best roommate I could ever have. Thankful for 4 years of living together, learning together, laughing together, crying together, and being molded into sanctified daughters of the King together. What a precious time in my life I will never forget. Thanks Abba for even more years of loving Cait! :)

11/22

Grateful that God has given me such an amazing life full of amazing opportunities and people! Thankful that the story of my life is just beginning. Thankful that he's allowed me to find my passions before turning 25! Thanks Abba for the way you've written this life story.

11/21

Grateful for coffee dates with Jesus that are always necessary and not taken advantage of enough. God thanks for giving me grace even when I don't give you time. Ugh you love me so much. Grateful.

11/20

Grateful for encouragement and how much a kind word can change the outcome of the day. Thanks Abba for all your kind words to me!

11/19

Grateful for worship music and metaphors.

11/18

I'm grateful for dinner with my grandma. I'm grateful that she fights for me. She puts everyone else before herself and is such an amazing example of "loving your neighbor." She loves the outcast and the shunned people of our neighborhood. She's the best. Thanks Abba for giving me exactly what I need in a grandma.

11/16 11/17

Grateful for "good morning" texts.

Grateful for early mornings and fresh coffee.

11/15

I'm grateful for surprises. I really really like surprises. I like when God surprises me by throwing in something fun or 'perfect' in my day. I like when friends surprise me with plans or surprise random notes and texts. I think the reason I like surprises so much is because it takes effort and knowing the person you're about to surprise to know that it is a good surprise. God surprised me this week with an opening to sponsor the one girl I was closest to in Uganda. I cannot wait to start writing to her! And praying for her and supporting her and surprising her! Thanks Abba for your divine appointments!

11/14

I'm so grateful for pictures. You don't realize how much you take photos for granted until you turn in your iPhone to get fixed and they wipe off all your pictures :( First world problems, I know. But so many good memories are in pictures! Note to self: backup iPhone every month. Also thankful for photography and the ability to capture beauty. Everything always looks a million times better in person, but thankful that we can get some gnarly sunset pictures on simple devices. Thanks Abba that you let me capture and keep the beauty I see daily.

11/13

Grateful for learning! I hope I love to learn the rest of my life. Grateful that I can have access to read almost anything on any subject I want! Thanks Abba for our brains and ability to gain knowledge.

11/10 11/11 11/12

Grateful for long drives with good music, company, and scenery.

Grateful for my grandpa who must've been the one to give me my curious, wanderlust travel gene.

Grateful for the word "cozy" and everything that entails, which I adore. Cozy sweaters and hugs and living rooms and beds.

11/9

Grateful for all the amazing women in my life! I am so blessed by their encouragement, excitement over my life, advice, and just general example of how to live out loving Christ. Thanks Abba for allowing me to meet some amazing women this year and the years before. Thanks for my sisters!

11/8

Grateful for feeling uncomfortable. I've been observing a classroom the last few months. My first day, first week actually, I was uncomfortable. Every doubt started coming straight to my head:
Can I do this?
Will I be good at this?
What if I made a wrong decision?
Am I smart enough?
Does the teacher think I have potential?
As the weeks have been going on, I'm reminded that the only way I can do my best at this is by pushing myself farther and farther out of those comfort zones. That's what every good experience in my life has been, so why not trust that Abba will prove himself again?
Thanks Abba for not keeping me the same.

11/7

Grateful for the feeling of walking through a park, with hills, dirt paths, small fear of rattlesnakes behind each bush, and the sun descending while breathing fresh air. Grateful that we can go outside and enjoy (in some places) quiet we couldn't experience anywhere else. Thanks Abba.

11/6

Grateful that ultimately God's opinion of me is the only important opinion. Grateful that despite what I do, say, learn, or think, He still looks at me as righteous, precious, beloved, 'mine.' Thanks Abba that you never give up on me.

11/5

Grateful for my best friend and her brother! Their example of love, compassion, kindness, and loyalty to me is so encouraging and supportive! So thankful they include me in their family too. Thanks Abba for placing them in my life as randomly yet purposefully as you did, You are good.

11/4

Grateful for sleep. Naps, dreams, beds, pillows, snoring, waking up renewed. All of it. Sooo grateful that sometimes sleep is the best medicine for a bad day or restless heart. Thanks Abba.

11/3

Grateful that God brought so many teenagers in my life! They keep life moving, fun, and hopeful for the future. So much potential in these kids you guys! Seriously, embrace the teens. Thanks Abba for my broz and sistaz.

11/2

Grateful for second chances. That people are willing to give me second chances, and third, and fourth, and fifth....thankful for the never ending supply of grace. Thanks Abba!

11/1

Grateful for my aunt who cares for me deeply, fights for me, loves me well, and is probably the one my mom would want as her substitute after she passed. Thank you Abba.

Rosa Ramirez

What's on my mind? The Ugly-Beautiful

The orange and grey sunset across the bay,
unnatural and polluted, yet lights up the autumn
sky with brazen glory and presence, purposeful.

The concrete sidewalks sprinkled with urine, needles,
trash, and banana peels. The home of those looking
for hope; the way of life that tangles and oppress.
Then, the eyes. The blue lined eyes of the old
Spanish woman, pushing her cart, pushing towards Jesus,
the joy of her day.
Nothing to own, nothing to give.

"But, I am happy."
The truth in her words that only resonate in me
at my best.

The corner of Wall and Willow.
"My residence!" She says, "Come see my residence!"
I walk with fake confidence, worried she'll invite me in,
worried she'll be mad I can't stay, worried where I'll sit.

Three more steps, cross the street.
Chinese gift shop on the corner,
"They will let me know when you visit."

There it is.
Two royal blue tarps covering three grocery carts.
Filled with crates, plastic bottles, clothes, and knick knacks.
With a smile as wide as the ocean, missing teeth,
"Here! Here is my residence!"

I've been invited into the residence, a home she created by hand.
Her hands are grateful for every bottle. Her hands recognize
"I have nothing, but I am happy."

The heartbeat of my life is to worship in Your light.

This song. This. Can't get enough.

Your glory is so beautiful.

Can you experience full joy?

"If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is an act of disbelief....atheism. Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism."

"To lack faith perhaps isn't as much as intellectual disbelief in the existence of God
as fear and distrust that there is a good God."

"I know I can't experience deep joy in God until I deep trust in God; trusting God is my most urgent need."
-1000 Gifts


What is it that is in my way of fully believing, fully trusting, that God is good? I read truth and know He is good. I see it around me all the time-His goodness pouring out in mercies each day. But what does that feeling of complete contentment feel like? Does it exist? Can we experience full joy in this inaugurated Kingdom, or does that only come when Jesus returns? How do I practice deep trust?

Sometimes I hate how little my mind is in comparison to God, and that I can't wrap my brain around Him.

Answered prayers.

"Mature in faith, build character.

2 Tim 2:22-Flee from youthful passions and

pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace."

Late last year I started reading a book, thanks to the suggestion of amazing roommates, called A Praying Life. It dramatically changed the way I looked at prayer in regards to perseverance, hope, and honesty in prayer. After a good paradigm shift of what I believed prayer to be, it gives practical ways to pray for those in your life, neighborhood, yourself, etc. One way it suggests is separate 3x5 index cards for people/themes. I made a pile of cards in December and started praying through them on a somewhat regular basis.

The verse at the beginning was exactly what I wrote on one of the cards that was for the dude friends in my life, and that verse for one boy in particular. This boy was one that I have seen grow dramatically in the last few years. I got to see him go through high school and now into college as a follower of Christ. Being away in Oakland didn't allow me to have as much time with him as I would have liked. To be honest I didn't even know what to write as a prayer request for him when I did the cards.

As life got hectic in transitioning, I slowly stopped the routine of praying through these cards.

Fast forward several months of me being back in LA to last weekend. I took this boy to church with me. We were driving home after a great sermon on Jesus calling ordinary, average men to be his disciples and my friend started speaking so passionately about his heart for the lukewarm in the church. He was quoting scripture humbly (a big improvement from years before) and speaking with compassion. I think at one point he asked me for advice and I had no clue to respond because I was so impressed and shocked about how different this conversation was compared to, perhaps, a year ago.

Later that night I was thinking about how I had written him down on my card and went to look up what I had written: "Mature in faith, build character. 2 Tim 2:22 Flee from youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace."

Needless to say I felt a mixture of assurance and conviction and grace. Assurance that my prayers were being answered and worked out, conviction because I've stopped praying so diligently for him and others, and grace that despite my lack of consistency, God is always constant and chooses to use my selfish prayers and turn them into His glory.

The cross is rough and it is deadly.

The cross is rough, and it is deadly, but it is effective. It does not keep its victim hanging there forever. There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in actual spiritual experience of the Presence of the living God.

AW Tozer, The Pursuit of God

He must do everything.

Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life in hope of ourselves to rend the veil. God must do everything for us. Our part is to yield and trust. We must confess, forsake, repudiate the self-life, and then reckon it crucified. But we must be careful to distinguish lazy "acceptance" from the real work of God. We must insist upon the work being done.



AW Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Good distractions.

much needed time with good friends these last few weeks. it was a good and needed distraction.

2 Corinthians 4:16

So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer self is wasting away,

our inner self is being renewed

day

by

day.

God has really been placing 'change' on my heart. I talked to a good friend about God being timeless and trials. He encouraged me with knowing that because God is not bound to time, He sees our perfected selves right next to our current state. And God (being rich in mercy) knows exactly what needs to happen in our lives to get us to that perfected state. So each trial, each mercy, each gift of grace is purposeful to change us.

I am praying that He changes me. That He would change me into a person who hungers and thirsts for righteousness (Matthew 5:6)

Someone who seeks Him above all and rests in His care.

Someone who confidently surrenders all things to Him because He is good.

I want to be changed, but man the process of changing is really tough.

Independence.

I love everything about this.

A list.

I feel uneasy in my own decisions; but trusting and learning confidence in His care for me.

I will rest in grace.

I should not worry.

I want a heart that isn't so deceptive.

I can't wait to go to Mexico this July and Singapore/Philippines in January! Saving for those as we speak :)

I have been listening to Of Monsters and Men. King and Lionheart on repeat for days.

I think it's bizarre how massive this world is, and how beautiful creation and sunsets and animals are, yet God still loves us more than that. He sees righteousness when he looks at us; we are made in HIS image. How nuts is that!?

I like how many amazing people have been brought into my life all because of one year in San Francisco.

I struggle with insecurities and recognizing how they affect my behavior.

I plan on pursuing dependency on God with everything I have.

I rejoice in knowing God looks down on me with love, care, compassion, and infinite mercy. 

Borrowed from my legit friend Erin.

Abba, father, papa, daddy.

I've been thinking about God as father a lot lately. Especially after being at the orphanage and surrounded by the 'fatherless.' I feel like God is continuing to nudge me on what it means for God to be a father, Abba. A good friend told me about this song and I'm in love with it. Enjoy.

He cares.

Our true hope is not that we can be strong enough to heal our own blindness, but that Jesus actually knows, sees, cares, and is powerful enough to do something about it.


From here.

Beauty.

CH Spurgeon does it again. MMM.

You have no place in which to pour your troubles except the ear of God. If you tell them to your friends, you but put your troubles out a moment, and they will return again. Roll your burden unto God, and you have rolled it into a great deep, out of which it will never by any possibility rise. Cast your troubles where you cast your sins; you have cast your sins into the depths of the sea, there cast your troubles also. Never keep a trouble half an hour on your own mind before you tell it to God. As soon as the trouble comes, quick, the first thing, tell it to your Father.

PEACE

I think God is trying to nudge my stubborn heart and mind with peace; a peace that surpasses all understanding. 

A peace that comes from God, by the means of Jesus making peace through his blood. 

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation." 2 Thess 3:16

I can't control time or people. I can't be everywhere at once and expect to be rested as well. I'm stubborn and need the peace of Christ to dwell in my heart at all times. I need to cast my cares on him the first chance I get. What a waste it is to let myself become overwhelmed when I am given access to a trusting, faithful, loving, and kind provider. Why should I worry? 

My jaded mind can't understand how God hears all my prayers, knows my hopes and fears, knows exactly what I need,  knows exactly where I fall, etc. It's too much for me to understand. And that's exactly why I need a peace that surpasses all understanding. 

A peace greater than intellectual wisdom....

A peace based in the confidence of the sovereign rule of the God of the universe, who is also the God of my heart.

My King and my best friend. 

That's my main desire right now. 

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.
Psalm 4:8

Psalm 139: 7-10 (NLT)

I can never escape from your Spirit. I can never get away from your presence. If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night--but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.

quiet.

"Peace prevails and rest ensues when we are quieted before our Savior and listen for his voice alone. Out of that quietness, the words of our mouths will be fitting, life-giving, and pleasing to God."

my february: iPhone edition.

YEP.

A Prayer.

From here.

Jesus......

Unfetter me from thinking too much about what I’m not, by showing me more of you and who I am in you. Liberate me from thinking about the next thing, so I can be present in the current moment.

Jesus, help me to use fewer words and better listening when engaging others. Please help me make better eye contact and heart connection with others. Free me to be more intrigued with people I don’t know and less timid around strangers. Turn my hair-trigger reactions into slower, wiser, kinder responses. Break my heart-shackles of irritability, agitation and cynicism. Free me from trying to fix anybody.

Please free me for greater spontaneity, louder laughter, saltier tears, and quicker repentances. There is no liberating and loving Savior like you, Lord Jesus. So very Amen I pray, with gratefulness and anticipation, in your most compassionate name.

peachy keen sunset.

view from my front yard last night.

my january: iphone edition.

new year's shoe shopping

The Wedge 1.21.12

This was such a good day. The pics get bigger when you click on them. I wish I could capture the intense sunset better, but man oh man I love this place.

Surprise- a brief emotional state experienced as the result of an unexpected event.

God has been surprising me left and right. I came back home in December with no plans of a job, uncertainty about the 'next step' in life, and some prayers (including Uganda) not really answered or moved towards any answer. I was praying that I'd get a job by the end of January, that a mentoring opportunity would happen, and that even though it seemed impossible, I'd get to go to Uganda.

After doing the usual 3 Christmases and traveling to see family members and friends, I went to Utah for a pre-getting a new job vacation. The first team meeting for Uganda was held while I was there and more people were interested than there were spots. That wasn't too encouraging, especially since I would be last pick. I kept praying about it until I knew for sure what the outcome would be.

Then I got the best voicemail ever and heard that a lot of people backed out of Uganda and there was room for me! I cried like a dweeb and was SO excited. Went straight into fundraising and have been so surprised by the responses from my family and friends. People I haven't talked to in YEARS are sending me the most encouraging emails and are willing to support me, even though I've failed them as a friend! Distant family friends, people from churches I've attended, CSM groups I hosted, friends who went to Utah with me, dance teammates, summer camp staff, Starbucks employees, etc. It is so cool to see the responses and to see 1) how many people have been brought into my life in different ways and 2) the body of Christ coming together! I know God will provide and I am dependent on him to provide, I'm praying for more and more surprises like that. :)

Also, I've been meeting with a HS girl for Bible study, coffee, prayer, etc. and it has been such a blessing. It is crazy that God would want to use me like that when I have no idea what I am doing. He's giving me the words and ideas though, and so far they have been working out great.

I love surprises. I like scary movies because they are full of (scary) surprises.....but in general I love all surprises. Notes, emails, texts, visits, etc. and God totally knows this and is loving on me so much! He is being gracious to me and exalting himself in it. MMMMM.

Newport Beach, 1.21.12

2012

Last year my verse for the year was Psalm 34:8 "Oh, taste and See that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" and God totally proved himself faithful and good to me in so many ways. God is so good. I had an awesome moment awhile back where I was trying to fall asleep but instead kept thinking about all the good things God was doing in my life. It was overwhelming in a completely good way.

This year these are on my heart.....

Psalm 46:5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.

Proverbs 31:12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Lamentations 3:22-25 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, therefore I will hope in him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

I'm excited for what this year will bring because, as of right now, I have no idea what this year will look like for me. It's an adventure. :)