be encouraged.

This is the last week of our spring season. After Saturday, I pack up, say goodbye, and head home for a week. It's bizarre. I'm co-hosting this week's group with Kelly, in the pic above. She's also staying this summer. She also is gracious enough to let me borrow her north face jackets anytime I please because I still cannot get used to the wind.

I couldn't have asked for a better last group though. Seriously. This group is from Fremont which is only 20 minutes south of Oakland. They are so goofy and fun and biblical and optimistic. My kind of people. This week is only halfway through and I really don't know if I could have ended on a better note.

Things that have encouraged me this week (yes, imma brag):

-The youth pastor of the Fremont group asked me bright and early Monday morning how their church (the ones on the actual mission trip) can be praying for me this week. When you hear something like that, you already know your group is gonna be awesome.

-A youth pastor I previously worked with my sophomore year at biola, from long beach, is here this week with his youth group. We caught up and chatted about ministry styles and the changes in their own group. I forgot how awesome and pleasant he was to talk to and was able to chat for about 30 minutes with him. He totally encouraged me in saying that he enjoyed having me work there so much because I brought a personality with me that they had never been able to get with other leaders and that I did a great job at leading my small group.

-One of the workers at the salvation army, Richard, said I was a great leader and knew that whenever I was bringing groups there they were in good hands.

-My aunt Julie replied to an email update saying how proud she was of me and knew that I would be doing an amazing job here and 'they' would love me.

-Adieba, my girl from the rescue mission who wrote that poem I posted a few entries back, straight up told me I was 'her girl' and her favorite. I HAVE ARRIVED.

-Awesome people asking how they can pray for me. Deb, this includes you.

-Jesus being good and allowing me to fully enjoy this week and my hosts and Him! Taste and see that He is good!


SO MUCH ENCOURAGEMENT! And all within like, 2 days!
I'm ready to finish strong.

IDOLATRY

Awhile back I browsed through this article about how to identify your idols and was wanting to take the time to sit down and read it and really ask myself these questions.

Needless to say I got caught up with work and life and friends that I didn't come back to it.

Of course, God was like "No Heezy, you are going to face idols and realize I am Lord."
And of course when you are stubborn the first couple of times, the truth hits you hard and in the face and is painful and embarrassing.

So the last few weeks idolatry and idols have been on my mind. I've been thinking about my own life and the things I value and trust in to bring me joy, comfort, love, security, acceptance, etc. I don't want to put my hope in things and people that aren't Jesus. I want to find that balance of deeply caring for others and valuing friendships without making those people the ones I place my hope in.

I bought The Imitation of Christ by Thomas A. Kempis a month ago and have been reading it through it rather slowly, but today was just a bunch of nuggets of good wisdom.

"When a man comes to that point of perfection in which he seeks his consolation in no created thing, then God begins first to taste sweet to him, and then will such a man be content with anything that comes to him, whether he like it or not."

"Turn yourself, therefore, with all your heart to God, and forsake this wretched world, and you will soon find great inward rest."

"Give to Christ, therefore, free entrance into your heart, and keep out all things that withstand His entrance. When you have Him, you are rich enough, and He alone will be sufficient to you."

"Put your full trust, therefore, in God. Let Him be your love and fear above all things, and He will answer for you, and will do for you in all things as shall be most needful and more expedient for you."

"The reason why so many things displease and trouble you is that you are not yet perfectly dead to the world, or fully severed from the love of earthly things. And nothing so much defiles the soul as an unclean love for creatures [humans]."

"The love of creatures [humans] is deceptive and disappointing, but the love of Jesus is faithful and always abiding. He who clings to any creature must of necessity fail as the creature fails. But he who cleaves abidingly to Jesus shall be made firm in Him forever."

"Be pure and clean within, free from the hindrance of any creature, as much as you can, for it behooves you to have a clean and pure heart toward Jesus if you will know and feel how sweet He is."



I don't know who actually takes time to read through these kind of posts, but please pray for me. My heart is still prone to wander and still prone to not tasting and seeing how good Jesus is. Caitlyn said it best when she told me she was praying that "Jesus would be sweeter to me today than he was yesterday."



The hosts, myself, and our sister Nicole.

Let the Nations be Glad! by John Piper

"Don't wait for a feeling of love in order to share Christ with a stranger. You already love your heavenly Father, and you know that this stranger is created by Him, but separated from Him, so take those first steps in evangelism because you love God. It is not primarily out of a compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God." P.61

"We cannot know what prayer is for until we know that life is war." P.70

"The purpose of prayer is to make clear to all the participants in this war that the victory belongs to the Lord. Prayer is God's appointed means of bringing grace to us and glory to himself.....We ask God to do for us through Christ what we can't do for ourselves-bear fruit. Prayer is the open admission that without Christ we can do nothing. And prayer is the turning away from ourselves to God in the confidence that he will provide the help we need." P. 78-79

"Hell is a dreadful reality. To speak of it lightly proves that we do not grasp its horror. I know of no one who has overstated the terrors of hell. We can scarcely surpass the horrid images Jesus used. We are meant to shudder." P.142

"There is a divine wisdom in the timing of God's deliverances from darkness. We should humble ourselves to see it rather than presume to know better how God should deal with a rebellious world." P. 154

truth.

Whatever you're chasing, if it isn't Jesus, when you catch it you still won't be satisfied.

In the path of your judgments,
O Lord, we wait for you;
your name and remembrance
are the desire of our soul.
Isaiah 26:8

Greek Food

My group this week wasn't the best I've had BUT the kids did write great things on their evaluations of the trip so hopefully that means they got a LOT out of this week! Here is one of the evaluation comments that I got a lot of jollies from....

Christian, 13 year old skater boy.

What was the best part about your week with CSM?
Greek Food.
[Note: Really? Really.]
What was the most challenging part about your week with CSM?
Talking to hobos.
[Note: We/I do not encourage the use of the term hobo, bum, etc.]
What would make your trip with CSM better?
Fireworks.
[Note: We do not use fireworks, ever.]
Pick a person at a ministry site who really impacted you and write some words of encouragement to them (we will be giving them a list of compiled compliments at the end of the season).
Heather, thank you for introducing me to Greek food. I've never been happier than when I was eating those Gyros.
[Note: I'm glad I can impact someone's life by food.]

Also, I had shower duty one night this week, meaning I tell them when their time is up/get the people who are supposed to shower for the night to sign up etc. One conversation I had...

Me: Where's Nelson? He's supposed to shower at 9.
Carter: He's in the bathroom taking a poop.
Me: Oh. Ok. Well. Tell him to hurry.
Nelson (from the hallway, shouting): SORRY HEATHER! CAN I POOP FIRST?!?!!?!

Gotta love junior high boys.

abide with Him.

"Shut fast the door of your soul-that is to say, your imagination-and keep it cautiously, as much as you can, from beholding any earthly thing, and then lift up your mind to your Lord, Jesus; open your heart faithfully to Him, and abide with Him in your chamber, for you shall not find so much peace outside."

The Imitation of Christ, Kempis.

worship

Today at Reality San Francisco, we read from Mark 15:1-39 and Pastor Dave talked about how important the Cross is/was for us. In summary:

Christ wasn't on the cross for himself, but for me. He could have delivered himself, but he chose to remain there for me. He was completely forsaken, left by God. When we feel as though God has forsaken us, that's just a feeling. Jesus was the only one who experienced in reality what being separated by God was like. The cross is what saves us; it is finished.

I love it when every song in a worship set just flows perfectly and speaks directly to what you had just heard from the pastor.

Must Jesus bear the cross alone,
And all the world go free?
No, there’s a cross for everyone,
And there’s a cross for me.

The consecrated cross I’ll bear
Till death shall set me free;
And then go home my crown to wear,
For there’s a crown for me.
-Must Jesus Bear the Cross Alone

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of it's suffering I do drink, of it's work I do sing.
For on it my Savior, both bruised and crushed,
Showed that God is love and God is just.
-Sweetly Broken, Jeremy Riddle

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save,"
My lips shall still repeat:
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
-Jesus Paid it all, Passion Worship Band

I bow down to the Holy One
I bow down to the Lamb
I bow down to the Worthy One
I bow down to the Lamb

The Son of God died for us
This is love, this is love
He walked the hill and bore the cross
This is love, this is love
-This is Love, Vineyard

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
-The Wonderful Cross, Chris Tomlin

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
-Before the Throne of God, Shane and Shane

free day.

This week none of us hosts had a group! Instead we've been serving at St. Vincent de Paul Dining Room and the Rescue Mission in Richmond. However, today was wonderful because we got a break from that and had a secret fun day planned by our bosses Kim and Jason. We knew nothing about the schedule except that we needed warm clothes and something to read.

My day started [the night before] with new sheets from Ikea that I love. Also, my bed is so flippin comfy. I have a foam mattress pad that works wonders on a side sleeper like myself.

Of course sleep was followed by a walk to my local It's a Grind for chocolate for breakfast, my latest and greatest tradition.

Then some time in the word. I've been reading a one-year devotional that's real nice. Later in the day I finished another chapter of "Let the Nations be Glad" by Piper. It's taking me forever to finish because each chapter is so thick! I read about Hell/Eternal Torment/Annihilation theories today.

We met back at headquarters for brunch and a devotional lead by Kim/THA BOSS, then departed walking to our first surprise.

To our surprise...Kim and Jason took us to see Hop! I'm a sucker for movies with talking animals so I was extra excited.

When the movie ended our next location was a grocery store to buy dinner! We were 'grilling' and decided to make kabobs, guacamole, and other random yummy things.


We got our goodies and headed to the beach!

We played for a bit then began cooking dinner.

Followed by good fellowship, food, and fotos.

That's SF in the far distance. Loved today.



Also, here are my boys from the Rescue Mission. These ones are the sons of the people who work there, so they aren't necessarily in poverty but still need that good support and fellowship of other Christians in Richmond.

That last one is my current wallpaper. Love it.

spent today at the rescue mission

the way of life.

One of our ministry sites is BARM, the Bay Area Rescue Mission, in Richmond, CA. In 2010, Richmond was ranked the 6th most dangerous city in the United States. Within one year there were 56 murders; 18 on a "quiet" year.

We go to an after school program at BARM with kids from 1st to 12th. The kids have free time for about 2 hours where they can play basketball, pool, video games, computers, watch movies, eat snacks, draw, ride bikes, etc. Then there is an hour of homework/tutor time and then another hour of Bible Study. Since I've been going each week, I've been able to develop relationships with some of the girls in the teen program. They are 8th-11th graders mostly. We bonded over Chris Brown music videos.

My girl A is amazing. She's a 9th grade sweetheart who loves her colored jeans. She sings for me and taught me how to appropriately and accurately do the "cat daddy." She also loves that I'm from LA because her favorite R&B boy band is from LA. :) She has a sister, N, who is a year younger who bonded with me over Drake (see, my interests DO come in handy). Both of them are great girls who love the Lord.

2 weeks ago, a girl from their neighborhood got shot and died. She went to their high school and at one point in her life attended the Rescue Mission. She got in the bad crowd in school and ended up dead. The man in charge of the program, Brother Steve (this fly, 50 something, black man), told me that this girl who got murdered acted as a "look out" for her father. Meaning, when her father and family were doing or dealing drugs in the house, they would make her stand by the window looking out for cop cars. The person who shot her did so 'accidentally' because of some complications with a drug deal.

When I heard, I was able to ask A about it later that afternoon. She ever so casually told me that that's just what happens. I watched her ask another kid "Hey, did you hear about Kiki?" as the kid was walking out as though she was asking him if he was going to the football game.

I mean, here's the thing...if any one of my friends got shot and murdered, that would be a traumatic life event. That would be a long time of suffering and grieving and calling on God for support. For A and the other kids who live in this hood, that's the way of life. My heart breaks for them. I feel the Spirit drawing me towards them and quickly making BARM one of my favorite activities here in the bay.

Here's a story/poem A wrote that I thought was just so beautiful.

The Way of Life

I promise you, the world today only cares about the way of life. A 13 year old girl without a parent figure in her life, she ends up pregnant people look at her and say "that's the way of life." A boy has no father in his life so his only solution he chose was gang violence, he dies at 21 from protecting "his red" or "his blue." People walk past his grave and say "that's the way of life." A young mom on her own, baby daddy no where to be found. Dropped out of school her only option for money is selling her body, people drive past and say "that's the way of life." A young boy without a father figure in the middle of north Richmond graduates from high school going to college, people look at him oddly and say "that's different."